Sacred Balance July Update
- Miriam Diephouse-McMillan
- Aug 10
- 3 min read
There’s nothing like air travel to inspire a reflection on anxiety. The endless security lines, cramped seating, and arbitrary schedule changes can make the best of us feel helpless and vulnerable. I don’t fly often, but last month I flew to my hometown in Michigan for a book signing at the amazing Schuler Books. In the airport I found myself observing my fellow travelers with curiosity. So many names and stories I would never know, all crowded together for this brief moment.
As I slowly inched my way through the maze of TSA barriers, I overheard fellow travelers confirming plans and reviewing itineraries. The longer we waited, the more intense their tones became. “What time does our flight leave again?” “How much longer is this going to take?” To make things worse, a TSA agent bellowed from the checkpoint at the front of the line, “Keep moving forward! It’s only the people ahead of you slowing you down.” I think he meant to encourage efficiency and orderliness, but his words had the opposite effect. People started crossing the barriers and begging to cut the line. “I’m in the wrong terminal and need to catch the shuttle or I’ll miss my flight!” said one woman in a tone that seemed to blame everyone else for her predicament. “Our plane is already boarding!” said another woman holding up her phone with proof. I could understand her worry—my plane was already boarding as well. We were all in the same boat, but everyone was fighting to get ahead.
This was a stark contrast from the shuttle bus I had just stepped off minutes before. I had waited in the parking lot with a dozen other people, only to learn that the shuttle was “standing room only” by the time it reached us. Those already on board worked to squeeze a little tighter as the good-natured driver encouraged them, “Move on back, there’s plenty of room for everyone.” We climbed in, bent awkwardly around the luggage at our feet, and held onto the rails for dear life as the bus careened its way to the terminal. At such proximity we couldn’t help making eye contact and smiling. At one point I nearly fell onto the lap of the seated person behind me, and we both laughed. People rearranged themselves to let others out at the correct terminals. A stranger hefted a suitcase down the stairs for a young mother carrying a squirming toddler. There was a sense of community. We were all in it together.
I found myself wondering what made the difference between the bus and the security line. In both settings everyone had planes to catch. Were the people on the bus just nicer humans? Was it the tone of the driver compared to the TSA agent? Why did one situation prompt cooperation and the other competition? My questions touched on the fundamental human response to fear and scarcity. When we’re anxious, we tend to prioritize our own needs above those of others, when in fact empathy and cooperation can help calm our fears.
In the TSA line we were separated by barriers. We kept to ourselves. We were surrounded by rules and prohibitions. The agents barked out orders and scrutinized each of us in turn. This all created a dehumanizing atmosphere that left each person to fend for themselves. The shuttle bus, by contrast, was chaotic and haphazard. We were literally thrown together as the bus jostled along. The driver was warm and helpful. With a sense of camaraderie, we all worked together to make sure everyone got what they needed.
When life feels out of our control there are two ways we can respond. We can create barriers to separate us from others and prioritize our personal needs, or we can try to make room for everyone and care for each other along the way. One of these options will only increase our anxiety, while the other can help us feel safer and more connected. I think this is why spiritual traditions so often emphasize empathy and concern for others. Our connections keep us grounded. Faith is not a list of rules to follow. It’s an invitation to trust and connect, even (especially) when things seem scary. Lean on each other. Laugh with each other. Help each other as best you can. Move a little closer to let someone else in, and open yourself up to the joy and support they may offer you in return.
I had the honor of interviewing on several great podcasts this month! Check them out:
What the Hell is a Pastor? with Jo Schonewolf
Psalms for the Spirit with Kiran Young Wimberly
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